Currently viewing the tag: "Life"
Today, I took my girls to visit their dad; we had a supervised exchange. I drove 140 miles because his lawyer is unreasonable. I won’t get started on that issue. It will just aggravate me.
On the drive back home, I went through Platteville, CO. I stopped for gas at this old gas station right [...]
Today, I took my girls to visit their dad; we had a supervised exchange. I drove 140 miles because his lawyer is unreasonable. I won’t get started on that issue. It will just aggravate me.
On the drive back home, I went through Platteville, CO. I stopped for gas at this old gas station right next to a spiffy Shell station; the gas was cheaper at the old station. I waited in line. Patiently. Then, the man in front of me asked to prepay his gas. The lady proceeded to shout at us that her pumps were down and she gestured wildly while also saying she didn’t know when they would come back online. I was having flashbacks of Po-dunk Alabama while she was speaking. Could I really have been transported back home in the instant this backwoods Colorado woman spoke?
Ok. So that is mean.
I passed Greeley on my way home. I wanted to go back there, but I just felt like I should get out of town for a change of scenery-to help my nerves settle after leaving my girls.
I kept driving. Thankfully, Fort Collins isn’t that far away.
I planned to stop at the B&N I frequented when I first moved to CO-on Troutman, and I wanted to use my Starbucks birthday gift card that the women’s shelter gave me for my birthday. However, the Starbucks girl said I couldn’t use it there. I felt sad. Irritated. Because this cafe was NOT inside the middle of the store-it is off to the side. And when one moves as many times as I do-I know that the Starbucks in the store-(not on the sides) are part of B&N. But this one is not in the middle-it is on the side-and supposed to be separate-but it’s not. I just said “Ok” and left.
But never mind that.
I went out to my van and looked up the nearest Starbucks on my GPS; it came up the Harmony Starbucks in Fort Collins.
So here I am. Self-soothing. Getting some sun. Feeling overdressed because I’m wearing a grey sweater dress with a cowl neck while this tan lady next to me has her boobs hanging out of her sleeveless top. I have boobs too. Only-you just can’t see them. Because I think I’m too old for that! Plus-I get cold easily-like most old people do.
Harmony Road in Fort Collins reminds me of E. Harmony-the matchmaking site. Whenever I see E Harmony Road on my GPS-it makes me laugh while also thinking grouchy thoughts about how I doubt there is a man out there for me…because…
After years of being in my situation.
I want a man.
I get some offers from them…I passed up dinner tonight with a male friend.
But I don’t know…
I’m sitting here in Fort Collins-in this place of wealth compared to Greeley-and thinking-
I wish these two ridiculous yuppie (read: clueless about art) young men would sit down and stop having theatre practice with their camera right here-and in front of me.
I mean…
They can go outside.
Old ladies.
They are grouchy.
Especially when they miss their children.
It is 6:40 pm on Friday night…and I’ll sit here for a while-maybe an hour or so…
And then I’ll drive home.
With the wind in my hair.
And go to sleep in my empty apartment.
Yes.
You have discovered.
I host pity parties well.
Love to all who read my thoughts…and even to those who don’t.
Have a good night!
Do you ever fall into the mental trap of thinking that all your life’s variables have to be in place before you can:
1. Enjoy your hobbies
2. Achieve your most ambitious goals
3. Be happy. Truly happy.
I do. All the time. I have decided that my life will never be perfectly static [...]
Do you ever fall into the mental trap of thinking that all your life’s variables have to be in place before you can:
1. Enjoy your hobbies
2. Achieve your most ambitious goals
3. Be happy. Truly happy.
I do. All the time. I have decided that my life will never be perfectly static enough to achieve the ambitious longings in my heart and that I should be more like my children. Children don’t look at the top of the staircase when they are learning to ascend stairs. Rather, they take one step at a time and rarely, if ever, look at the top of the stairs and become filled with anxiety-upon realizing they are standing at the bottom and not near the top.
However, I have found, in my life, that I am most unlike my children. I will stand at the bottom of the stairs and fret over the fact that I’m not at the top and that a huge staircase is before me-and that I might not be able to negotiate each step in just the right way to achieve ascension.
So today, I’m going to break my old habit of waiting for perfect life variables to fall into place.
I’m going to start blogging again-amid the chaos of uncertainty. And I’m going to write without sophistication, all of the lessons I have learned in life over the past year-in various formats: articles, blogs, and books.
And I hope you will join me. Keep the pace with me. And take one day at a time.
Have a great evening!
